9 ไอเดียรัก แฮปปี้เอนดิ้ง
วันอาทิตย์, 8. พฤศจิกายน 2009
1. ออกเดทพิสดาร ควรชวนเขาไปออกเดทที่แตกต่างจากการนั่งฟังเพลง กินข้าว ดูหนัง เช่น ขับรถเที่ยวต่างจังหวัดแบบวันเดย์ทริป ไม่จำเป็นต้องเลือกสถานที่ๆ คุณชอบเสมอไป การผจญภัยที่แปลกใหม่ จะทำให้คุณและเขาได้เป็นตัวของตัวเอง และสามารถตรวจสอบความสอดคล้องของชีวิตคู่ได้เร็วเกินคาด
2. อัพเดทแนวคิดชีวิตรัก ทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างย่อมต้องมีเปลี่ยนแปลง และเป็นไปได้เสมอที่ความรักของคุณและเขานั้นเติบโตไม่เท่ากัน จึงควรหาเวลานั่งคุยกันถึงสิ่งที่กำลังเกิดขึ้นในปัจจุบัน และหากการพูดคุยในแบบตรงไปตรงมานั้นจะหมายถึงการปิดฉากความรัก ก็ควรยอมรับอย่าทู่ซี้ค่ะ แต่ถ้ามันสามารถจะตกลง และร่วมมือกันกำจัดได้ คุณและเขาจะสามารถลดปัญหาอุปสรรคความสัมพันธ์ไปได้อีกหนึ่งข้อ เมื่อแต่งงานกันจริงๆ อาจจะไม่เหลืออะไรที่หนักเหนื่อยให้ต้องแก้ไข
3. ไม่ไหว…จะเคลียร์ ความระแวงคือเชื้อร้าย และบ่อยด้วยสิที่มันมาจากความคิดของเราฝ่ายเดียวแบบไร้หลักฐาน ควรหยิบมันมาคุยกับเขาให้สิ้นเรื่องราว ซักกันให้ใสไปเลยดีกว่า เพื่อความสบายใจ หูตาไสวสว่าง คำแนะนำคือ อย่าทำแบบเล็กๆ น้อยๆ บ่อยๆ ถี่ๆ เอาแบบมีประเด็นดีกว่า ที่สำคัญคือ ถ้าคุณเลือกจะเชื่อและคบกันต่อก็ขอให้การเคลียร์กันนั้นจบและโยนทิ้งไปเลย
4. ประนีประนอมรอมชอมหัวใจ ผู้หญิงใช้อารมณ์และความรู้สึก ในขณะที่ผู้ชายยึดหลักเหตุผลแบบผูกขาด ดังนั้น การสงบสงครามที่ดีและนำไปสู่ข้อตกลงแห่งสันติภาพคือการรับฟังเขา และอ้างอิงเหตุผลประกอบความรู้สึก ผู้ชายมักยอมอ่อนข้อให้เมื่อผู้หญิงแสดงท่าทีอ่อนแอ มุขนี้ใช้ได้ชัวร์ค่ะ
5. ไม่ผูกขาดสปอนเซอร์ อย่า เอาแต่รับ และอย่าเอาแต่ให้ แต่ก็ไม่จำเป็นต้องคิดทุกอย่างแบบหารสองเป๊ะๆ หาโอกาสจ่ายแทนเขาบ้าง ให้เขาจ่ายแทนบ้าง ในโอกาสที่เหมาะสม แนวคิดนี้จะดีในระยะยาวเมื่อคุณทั้งคู่แต่งงานใช้ชีวิตร่วมกัน
6. แสดงความซื่อสัตย์และไว้ใจ ทำให้เขาเห็นว่าคุณมีใจเด็ดเดี่ยวในความรัก ไม่วอกแวก หรือสร้างสถานการณ์ให้เขาหึงหวง และพร้อมกันนั้นคุณก็ต้องให้ความเชื่อใจเขาเช่นกัน ด้วยการไม่เข้าไปจู้จี้ สืบค้นปมต่างๆ ของเขา หรือแสดงความเป็นเจ้าของในทุกวาระโอกาส ควรอยู่ด้วยความเชื่อมั่นเพื่อให้ช่วงเวลาที่แชร์กันเต็มไปด้วยความสุข
7. แบ่งปันและรับผิดชอบร่วมกัน อย่าให้ใครคนใดคนหนึ่งต้อง Take Side รับผิดชอบความรู้สึกทุกข์หรือสุขอยู่ฝ่ายเดียว เพราะมันจะทำให้เกิดสถานการณ์ฟางเส้นสุดท้ายในวันหนึ่ง และต้องเลิกรากันไป บางครั้งคุณต้องยอมลดความสุขในแบบของตัวเองลงบ้าง เพื่อนำมันมาเติมลงในความสุขกองกลาง
8. เปิดอกให้ซบ ทำตัวเองให้เป็นที่พึ่งพิง ให้คำปรึกษาแก่เขาได้เสมอในยามทุกข์ร้อน แนวคิดสำคัญคือ การที่คุณต้องมองทางออกปัญหาในแบบไม่อยู่วังวนเดียวกัน และมอบกำลังใจ ความอ่อนโยน ความเชื่อมั่นให้เขา
9. ผิดไปแล้ว สิ่งที่สร้างความเสียหายให้ชีวิตมากที่สุดคือความเพิกเฉยต่อคำขอโทษ ในกรณีที่เขาผิด การยกโทษให้ดีกว่าทำลืม เพราะไม่มีใครลืมอะไรได้จริงๆ และให้ความผิดพลาดเป็นบทเรียน อย่าทำให้เกิดซ้ำสอง
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