“รัก” อย่างไรให้ “ฉลาด”
วันจันทร์, 21. กันยายน 2009
1. รู้ว่า…ต้องใช้ชีวิตให้คุ้มค่า
เมื่อคุณมีคนรักจงปรับเปลี่ยนเฉพาะในส่วนที่ทำให้ชีวิตคู่ของคุณราบรื่น หากคุณเปลี่ยนแปลงไปซะทุกอย่างจะกลายเป็นคนอีกคนหนึ่งซึ่งเขาคงไม่คุ้นเคย กับคุณนัก เขาก็จะค่อยๆ หมดความสนใจในตัวคุณถ้าคุณมองไม่เห็นคุณค่าของตัวเองแล้วใครจะมองเห็นคุณค่า ของคุณ
2. รู้ว่า…เซ็กส์ไม่ใช่เรื่องง่าย
ไม่ว่าคุณจะหลงเสน่ห์เขาแค่ไหนและไม่ว่าความสัมพันธ์จะดำเนินต่อไปอย่างไร อย่าลืมว่าคนแปลกหน้าก็ยังเป็นคนแปลกหน้าอยู่ดีถึงประวัติส่วนตัวเขาจะดี แต่ที่แน่ๆ คุณไม่มีโอกาสรู้ว่าเขามีโรคติดต่อทางเพศหรือเปล่าไม่จำเป็นที่คุณต้องมี อะไรกับเขาถ้าคุณยังไม่พร้อมในทุกด้านเรารู้จักรักคนได้โดยไม่ต้องมีเซ็กส์ ได้
3. รู้ว่า…ผู้ชายแสนดีไม่จำเป็นต้องหล่อ
ถ้าเขาคนนั้นทำให้คุณมีความสุข อบอุ่น หัวเราะได้มีความชอบอะไรเหมือนกันหลายอย่างแถมเขายังฉลาดแต่ไม่หล่อเลย คุณลองไปเดินสังเกตุตามซูเปอร์มาเก็ตดูผู้ชายที่มาซื้อของกับครอบครัวหรือ เล่นอยู่กับลูกๆ ตามชายหาด ผู้ชายเหล่านี้หน้าตาอาจจะไม่เหมือนนายแบบในนิตยสารเลยแต่เขานี่แหละที่ เหมาะจะเป็นพ่อของลูกคุณ
4. รู้ว่า…ความรักมีปริมาณ 50-50
สิ่งที่คู่รักต้องการ คือ ความรักที่พบกันครึ่งทางมีการให้และรักอย่างสมดุลต่างฝ่ายต่างเอาใจใส่ ห่วงใยกันช่วยเหลือกันมอบความรักให้อีกฝ่ายเท่าเทียมกัน ไม่มากเกินไปหรือน้อยเกินไป
5. รู้ว่า…คุณไม่มีวันเปลี่ยนแปลงผู้ชายได้
เหตุผลก็คือ คุณไม่สามารถและไม่สมควรที่จะพยายามเปลี่ยนสิ่งที่เขาชอบหรือไม่ชอบ ไม่มีใครเปลี่ยนใครได้นอกจากตัวของเขาเองเก็บพลังใจกายและเวลาอันมีค่าที่จะ สูญเสียไปไว้ให้กับคนที่ต้องการความสัมพันธ์ดีๆ กับเราดีกว่า หรือทำอะไรก็ได้ร้อยแปดประการที่ทำให้ชีวิตคุณดีขึ้นหากเขาแสดงการไม่ให้ เกียรติคุณเขาก็ไม่สมควรที่จะได้รับความรัก ความห่วงใยจากคุณอีก ถ้าปล่อยให้เขาทำตัวแย่กับเราเขาก็จะแย่ลงเรื่อย ๆ
6. รู้ว่า…เป็นคนรักต่างกับคนรับใช้
จริงแล้วผู้ชายที่มีความรับผิดชอบดีเขาจะไม่ชอบผู้หญิงที่อ่อนแอและเป็น เบี้ยล่างให้เขาตลอดเวลา หรือเกรงใจผู้อื่นจนปฏิเสธใครไม่เป็นเราต้องรู้จักปฏิเสธและโต้กลับบ้างการ ปฏิเสธข้อเรียกร้องของคนอื่นบ้างไม่ใช่เรื่องหยาบคาย
7. รู้ว่า…การแต่งงานไม่ใช่กระดาษแผ่นเดียว
ใบทะเบียนสมรสไม่ใช่สิ่งที่จะรับรองว่าชีวิตคู่ของคุณจะอยู่กันตลอดรอดฝั่ง แต่การแต่งงานนั้นเป็น “งาน” จริงๆ งานที่ต้องช่วยกันคิดช่วยกันแก้ไขและต้องทำความตกลงกันในหลายเรื่องอาศัยการ ประนีประนอม และหมายถึงการใช้ชีวิตซ้ำๆ ในแต่ละวันกับมนุษย์คนเดิมซึ่งเขาอาจจะไม่จำเป็นต้องได้ดั่งใจคุณทุกอย่าง ไม่จำเป็นต้องรู้สึกหรือมีความคิดเห็นเหมือนคุณทุกเรื่องและชีวิตคู่ไม่ต้อง โรแมนติกตลอดเวลาก็สามารถมีความหมายลึกซึ้งและเป็นรักที่แท้และฉลาดได้
8. รู้ว่า…ไม่ควรประจานข้อบกพร่องของตัวเองให้เขาฟัง
ทุกคนย่อมมีข้อเสียหรือนิสัยแย่ๆ ด้วยกันทั้งนั้นแต่ก็ไม่ต้องมาแฉทั้งหมดว่าเรามีข้อเสียอะไรบ้าง เพราะอาจจะทำให้ต้องโบกมือลาตั้งแต่ก่อนจะได้คบกัน และแน่นอนหนุ่มๆ ของคุณก็มีข้อเสียเช่นกันก็ต้องขึ้นอยู่กับว่าคุณทั้งคู่จะปรับตัว ปรับใจ ยอมรับนิสัยแย่ๆ ได้ไม ถ้าไม่ได้ก็คงต้องลาจากกัน
9. รู้ว่า…ต้องไม่เป็นหนังสือที่อ่านง่ายสำหรับเขา
คงเคยได้ยินกันมาบ้างแล้วว่าอะไรที่ได้มาอย่างง่ายๆ มันก็ไปง่ายๆ ได้เช่นกันหรือดูไม่มีคุณค่าให้รักษานั่นเอง
10. รู้ว่า…อย่าเรียกร้องความเท่าเทียมจากผู้ชายถ้าคุณยังดูแลตัวเองไม่ได้
หากคุณยังไม่มีความเข้มแข็งพอหรือดูแลตัวเองยังไม่ได้แล้วอย่างนี้เราจะมี สิทธิ์อะไรไปต่อกรกับผู้ชายแมนๆ เขาได้ ดีไม่ดีจะโดนดูถูกเอาด้วย
สาวๆ คนไหน อยากรักอย่างฉลาด ก็ลองนำวิธีที่แนะนำไปประยุกต์ใช้กับความรักตัวเองได้นะจ๊ะ
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183 คอมเม้นต์ สำหรับ ““รัก” อย่างไรให้ “ฉลาด””
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